Monday, April 25, 2011

Motherhood & Being a Submissive Wife

With Mother's Day just a couple of weeks away, here is something I received a long time ago, which considers the mother-child relationship from a purely worldly point-of-view.   Do you agree with this?   Are you raising your children to these standards?

When a child is . . . s/he thinks . . .
4 years old ~ Mommy can do anything!
8 years old ~ Mom knows a whole lot!
12 years old ~ Mom doesn't really know everything.
14 years old ~ Naturally, Mom doesn't know that, either.
16 years old ~ Mother? Ugh. She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years old ~ Ugh!  She's so out of date!
25 years old ~ Well, Mom might know. You think?
35 years old ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years old ~ I want to call Mom and ask her first.
65 years old ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.  

Do you agree with this?   Are you raising your children to these standards? 

As a Christian wife and mother, I don't buy into the notion that teen-aged children must necessarily go through a rebellious stage in order to effectively transition from being dependent needy little kids to becoming responsible young adults.  

Worldly notions excuse sassy-talk and spoiled-rotten attitudes in our youngsters for a variety of reasons.   Remember, though, little girls who toss their curls and resist your requests will soon be middle school girls who are mean to their friends and younger siblings--and they will grow into teen girls with joyless and selfish attitudes.

Too often, Christian parents accept the worldly idea that their  daughters' hormone swings cause moodiness and fits of despair.  Eye-rolling and back-talk is expected.   Stomping off in a tizz is endured with a shrug of Mom's white-flag of surrender.   Mothers expect to tolerate heart-rending rifts between them and their daughters. 
News Flash!

Hormones do NOT cause moodiness, fits of despair, eye-rolling, back-talk or stomping.   No, no, no!   Sin causes this kind of attitude and naughty behavior and disrespect.   Sin causes parents to "give in" to their children's demands to be allowed to be disrespectful.  

Mothers!  Please!

It is always wrong to put up with, tolerate, suffer, endure, submit to, or stomach insolent behavior (attitude) from our children.   Especially in our daughters, as they need to learn a submissive and sweet spirit--so that one day they will enjoy the wonderful relationship Christ intended for them to have with their husbands.

Why does this matter?

It is important for us to train our daughters to meekly submit when we make requests (even those THEY feel are wearing modest clothing, keeping curfew, maintaining a high GPA and careful selection of friends).    

We are told by the apostle Paul in the book of Titus that as "older women" (mothers) we are to train the younger women (our daughters) to love their husbands and their that no one maligns the Word of God.

Essentially, as we train our daughters to submit to our parental requests and as they see us loving our job as wife and mother, we are training them in submission and in loving their future husband, and to look forward to having children of their own some day.

How to do this? 

Don't neglect your daughter's training in this area.   The sooner you begin to train your daughter(s), the easier it will be over the long-run.   

Keep your wits about you.  Keep your long-term goals in mind.    Don't be wishy-washy

Be firm.  Be consistent.  And by all means....if you make a promise or threaten to punish, follow through.  

Establish rules that are NOT negotiable.  Here are a few guidelines and suggested responses

No stomping off in a hissy fit:  "Come back and walk up those stairs quietly."   (Make her do it five times to make your point.)    
No eye-rolling or face-making"Honey, I find that behavior ugly, but since you think it's attractive, I want you to do it in front of the mirror for five minutes.  I'm setting the stove timer."   (When the buzzer goes off, ask if she needs to do it for another few minutes to get it out of her system.)

No huffing & puffing:   "Sweetie, it sounds like you're trying to get a deep breath.   I think it might be helpful if you did about ten minutes of very brisk jumping jacks to get your heart pounding and some real deep breathing.   I'm setting the timer for you."   (After the buzzer runs out, find out if she'd like to do another few minutes of aerobic activity.)

Your Homework Assignment . . . 

Dear Mother:

Pray for God to give you a spirit of willing submission and to give you opportunities to model these traits for your daughter(s).    

Responsibility is on your shoulders:   submit to your husband out of love for the LORD, knowing that your loving submission is an example to your daughter, too!   In the days and years ahead, your modeling and genuine respect for your husband WILL pay off--not just for your marriage but for your daughter(s) too!   

Trust God to work out the details.   

"Teach the older women . . . 
to teach what is good . . . train the younger women 
to love their husbands and children . . . 
so no one will malign the Word of God." 
Titus 2: 3-5 NIV 


Lisa said...

(This is your friend from way back when...remember the gingerbread houses?) We used to say the "trainable two's turn into the terrific threes and later become the tremendous teens." If you are consistent when they are little, they will be a joy when they are older. Our 17 year old daughter and our 16 year old son are both living with very different attitudes than would be expected by the world. Praise the Lord for his wonderful promises concerning raising children with firm loving hands.

Mrs. Aitch said...

If you'd like to make the rolls my dear daughter and I are making in that silly photo (above) . . . cut-n-paste this link into your web browser:

Anonymous said...

As a religious Jewish woman I wish more Jewish women understood the importance of training our daughters this way. I am pregnant with twins and will soon be the mother of 9. I have taught all my daughters from the youngest age to learn how to submit to the will of their Abba (father) and to respect me as their mother. But I have also made a point of teaching them about what their future husband will expect, just as my husbands are teaching my boys about how to command their future wives and children with loving and firm leadership. I think it is a disservice to our daughters to assume they will go through a rebellious phase, when in fact religious folks such as ourselves often find that we can skip that phase if we instill enough respect for authority in our children at a young age. It is also a disservice to let a girl run wild only for her at 17 or 21 to marry a young man who suddenly expects her to submit... something she has no idea how to do since it was never required of her.